Time, Tact and Tolerance.

After the Mic: What are we actually building?
Time, Tact and Tolerance with Jim Hopley
By Dan Painter

Thirty-nine different degrees. Twenty-two times in the chair.

Jim Hopley’s Masonic diary probably needs its own secretary. Unfortunately, Jim is likely to have volunteered for that job as well.

When Reuben, Tony and I sat down with him, there was certainly plenty to explore. Royal Arch, Knights Templar, Rose Croix, the Order of the Secret Monitor… Jim has followed his curiosity through a remarkable amount of Freemasonry.

Naturally, I wanted to know what he’d found along the way.

And somewhere between the orders, the offices and a wonderfully diplomatic arrangement about household spending, we got into a question that has stayed with me: how much of what we learn in Freemasonry actually comes home with us?

Jim gave us plenty to think about.

His Masonic story began at Lodge Waitaki in Oamaru in 1985. He was the fourth generation of his family to join that lodge. Later, he initiated his own son, making five generations in the same lodge.

Five generations. Just let that settle for a moment.

Then Jim mentioned that he had only seen his father cry twice. One of those occasions was when Jim entered Freemasonry.

That puts a rather human face on the word “tradition”. A father watching his son take a step that means something to him. Years later, that son welcoming his own boy into the same lodge.

There is an awful lot of life contained in that story.

There is also a fair amount of life competing for space in a Mason’s diary. Jim knows that well. At one point, his children came to spend Wednesdays with him, which happened to be lodge night. He took five years away.

For a man with that much enthusiasm for the Craft, I thought that was a lovely thing to hear.

We talk about our responsibilities. Jim made room in his week for his children. Lodge was there when he returned.

I suspect quite a few of us could use that reminder when another invitation arrives and we begin performing increasingly ambitious mathematics with the family calendar.

Then there was his approach to employing people.

Jim spoke about a woman who had been working as a part-time waitress and had submitted her CV to his pharmacy six times. Eventually, she got the opportunity. She became a reliable, qualified member of staff and later moved into a law office, where she went on to become a legal executive.

You could hear Jim’s pride in what she had achieved.

His point was wonderfully straightforward: people need somebody to give them a go. Everyone wants experience, but somebody has to offer the opportunity to gain it.

That is the sort of story I love hearing on The Masonic Mic. You can follow an idea from the lodge room into somebody’s working life and see what they did with it.

It also leaves a slightly uncomfortable question hanging there.

Who could I be giving a chance to?

Jim talks about building your own temple: the continuing work of putting yourself in order, learning, adjusting and trying again. There is plenty in that for someone like me, who can happily disappear down a rabbit hole of symbolism; in fact, I delivered a rather relatable paper at lodge recently, more on that another time...

Jim brings it back to something you can actually practise.

He readily admits that he can be intolerant. He has to catch himself and bring himself back into line.

I appreciated that honesty. Patience is considerably easier to admire than to exercise when somebody is testing yours. Apparently, learning about tolerance does not come with a certificate exempting you from ever being irritating again.

A disappointing administrative oversight.

Which brings us to the three words behind this episode.

Jim’s father once told him:

“There’s three Ts in life, time, tact, and tolerance, and you’ve got none of them.”

Jim reckons he proved him wrong.

Having heard about his family, his friendships and the people he helped along the way, I think he has a reasonable case.

There is supporting evidence on the tact front, too. Jim and his wife have an arrangement: he doesn’t ask what her musical instruments cost, and she doesn’t ask what Freemasonry costs.

There are probably international negotiations that could benefit from that level of understanding.

What stays with me about Jim is his willingness to keep learning. After all those years and all those degrees, he still expects to turn up, discover something and help somebody.

That is an encouraging example to take away from a conversation.

It leaves me thinking about what I will do with the next lesson, the next spare evening or the next opportunity to give someone a go.

And, possibly, whether I ought to practise the three Ts before offering a lecture on them.

You can hear our full conversation with Jim Hopley in “Time, Tact and Tolerance” on The Masonic Mic website. Come and meet the man behind a very busy Masonic diary.

— Dan
The Masonic Mic